by Philip Eliot | Oct 27, 2025 | Humor & Entertainment |
Praise in Amazon Reviews for Not From Round Here:????? “Very funny. We live in London but originate from Burnley so can relate to the differences.”????? “Tek it from me, it wer a reet good’n! Cheered me up!”????? “Thank you for making me laugh.”Professional Praise for Not From Round Here:”Not From Round Here I laughed so much I got odd looks when I read it in public. I loved this book & wanted more! ” – Suzy K. Quinn, million selling author of the ‘Bad Mother’ series.”A reet good laff! I hooted my way through this comical look at Northern life. Highly recommended – for Northerners and Southerners alike!” – Jacqueline Lambert, award-winning travel writer and author of the ‘Adventure Caravanning with Dogs’ series.From the Back Cover“I stuck a hair dryer on me bunion to stretch me skin out. Didn’t bloomin’ work.”So begins Brad’s uproarious new life as an Essex native who’s yanked from living his pipe dream in the Spanish sunshine to the grey and wet northwest of England.In this comedy memoir, Brad is catapulted to a strange land in his homeland where complete strangers tell him about their bunions and insist on showing him the holes “they burned” in the crotch of their swimming trunks.It’s a land of confusion where everything he thought true comes into question: bread rolls are now called, “barms”; tea is something you eat not drink; almond milk is unheard of because, “yer don’t get teats on an almond, stupid!”It’s a land where Brad is so cold that he’s wearing more coats than a nightclub cloakroom can handle while the locals casually stroll around in their beachwear.Will fish out of water Brad sink or swim as he adapts to the culture shock of being a soft southerner up north?One thing’s for sure, you’re in for a pant-pissing, rollercoaster ride of mishaps, mayhem, and meat pies.So strap on your incontinence pads then scroll up to buy now!More Praise in Amazon Reviews for Not From Round Here:????? “Laugh out funny at times. It was inoffensive, light-hearted humour.”????? “More laugh out loud moments than you can shake a stick at!”????? “Extremely funny and perceptive writing from the quintessential stranger in a strange land.”
by Philip Eliot | Oct 27, 2025 | Contemporary Romance |
Lara
I despised him with every fiber of my being, and now he was coming after me. He was the monster who had taken my mama and papa from this world, and I was next on his list. The moment I stepped away from my childhood home, I understood that there was no going back. Larissa Zhukova had to vanish, and in her place, Sarah Jones emerged to navigate the shadows of a new life. That was until he tracked me down, his thirst for vengeance over what my father had done burning fiercely. But never did I imagine his revenge would involve binding me to him in marriage, compelling me to bear his heir. I had to find a way to flee, to escape his suffocating darkness before it consumed me entirely.
Dmitri
Vengeance had never tasted so intoxicatingly sweet, and there was nothing I desired more than to claim Lara as mine. She might believe her father had perished, but I knew the truth. Her family had ruthlessly stripped away everyone I loved, and it was time they faced the consequences. In the icy caverns of my heart, there was no room for love. Lara served a single purpose: to provide me with an heir. However, she had unexpectedly become an obsession, and with each passing day, she peeled away the layers of the dark armor I had encased my heart in, threatening to expose the vulnerability I had buried long ago.
Twisted Obsession is the first book in The Red Knights Series. Each book is a standalone with a HEA. This is a spicy Dark Mafia Romance which features scenes of a violent nature as well as those with explicit sexual nature with TW.
Read more
by Philip Eliot | Oct 27, 2025 | Fantasy |
99c On Amazon — FREE Every other platform!
Affer was once a peaceful planet, until a war broke out between its six inhabiting species. The humans, who were once the mightiest force on Affer, were massacred in droves, and the ones who survived the onslaught were reduced to mere slaves. The five other species divided the humans amongst themselves and returned to their respective kingdoms.
The years passed, turning into decades and centuries, without any change. Eventually, the humans had accepted their fate as slaves. All except one. Four hundred and seventy-three years later, Fletcher Rush starts his journey to free his kind…and conquer the planet.
by Philip Eliot | Oct 26, 2025 | Contemporary Romance |
Lara
I despised him with every fiber of my being, and now he was coming after me. He was the monster who had taken my mama and papa from this world, and I was next on his list. The moment I stepped away from my childhood home, I understood that there was no going back. Larissa Zhukova had to vanish, and in her place, Sarah Jones emerged to navigate the shadows of a new life. That was until he tracked me down, his thirst for vengeance over what my father had done burning fiercely. But never did I imagine his revenge would involve binding me to him in marriage, compelling me to bear his heir. I had to find a way to flee, to escape his suffocating darkness before it consumed me entirely.
Dmitri
Vengeance had never tasted so intoxicatingly sweet, and there was nothing I desired more than to claim Lara as mine. She might believe her father had perished, but I knew the truth. Her family had ruthlessly stripped away everyone I loved, and it was time they faced the consequences. In the icy caverns of my heart, there was no room for love. Lara served a single purpose: to provide me with an heir. However, she had unexpectedly become an obsession, and with each passing day, she peeled away the layers of the dark armor I had encased my heart in, threatening to expose the vulnerability I had buried long ago.
Twisted Obsession is the first book in The Red Knights Series. Each book is a standalone with a HEA. This is a spicy Dark Mafia Romance which features scenes of a violent nature as well as those with explicit sexual nature with TW.
Read more
by Philip Eliot | Oct 26, 2025 | Fantasy |
99c On Amazon — FREE Every other platform!
Affer was once a peaceful planet, until a war broke out between its six inhabiting species. The humans, who were once the mightiest force on Affer, were massacred in droves, and the ones who survived the onslaught were reduced to mere slaves. The five other species divided the humans amongst themselves and returned to their respective kingdoms.
The years passed, turning into decades and centuries, without any change. Eventually, the humans had accepted their fate as slaves. All except one. Four hundred and seventy-three years later, Fletcher Rush starts his journey to free his kind…and conquer the planet.
